Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
