Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
