What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
