I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
