He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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