and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
