Do vagina's smell?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
