Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
