To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Randomize
