haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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