I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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