Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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