I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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