listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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