I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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