well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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