have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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