During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And then my night got REAL pukey
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
