Sponge bath it is.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
