i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
