I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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