So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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