Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
