I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
