I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
