Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
