Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
