I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
