Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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