I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
