I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize