so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
