Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize