you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
