Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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