I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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