Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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