mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Please don't give away my fajitas
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