Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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