i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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