Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
