Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
