You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you made out with another girl for some wings
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize