Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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