I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
