His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
