Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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