Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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