Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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