im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
