This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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