i think my tv is drunk
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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