anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
