like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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