i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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