Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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