It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
