I like my sex mixed with concussions.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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